don't think, just do

so, my delightful A.R.T. Method trainer Christian is a bit of a hippie.

i'm sure if he heard me say this he would disagree and tell me that most of his ideologies come from Eastern schools of thought, and "the hippie" is a decidedly Western idea... however, for the sake of simplicity, i'm gonna call him a hippie.

whenever i'm working with him he's always telling me things like "stop thinking about what you're doing so much", and "the only thing stopping you from being able to do [whatever thing i'm struggling with] is mental", and "if you believe you can do it, you can" etc... 

now, if you know me, you'll know that i'm a bit of a pessimist/skeptic.  so whenever people say things about how i'm getting in my own way, and if i just believed in myself i could do anything at all, my first instinct is to roll my eyes.  how on earth could my mindset have any outcome at all on the world around me?  either i can do something or i can't, the way i feel about it isn't going to change anything right?

well the truth of the matter is, i have no idea.  i have no idea how different my life could be if i could just turn my brain off for a little while!  i have always been "in my head" and what makes it even worse is that the inside of my head is apparently a very negative place.

but clearly, it's not making any of this any easier so i'm going to work on changing that.

i could get the most bangin' bod in the world but if i'm still the kind of person whose mind is full of self doubt and negative thoughts, i'll still be miserable.

so from now on, i'm going to start giving myself the silent treatment.  i don't think i'll ever be the kind of person who believes in herself strictly on blind faith, but the least i can do is not listen to the negative BS.

so the next time Christian tells me that someday very soon i'll be doing 20 pushups on my hands and feet (no knees) i'm not going to indulge the part of my brain that wants to think about how that's too many and it's too much weight and i'm gonna hurt my back and i'll never be able to do that.  i'm just gonna give it my best shot.

after all, how bad can it be?  have you ever seen a miserable hippie? i certainly haven't...

-V